She does not want to get married – Spoilt. She smokes – Spoilt. She wears a skirt – Spoilt. She has male friends – Spoilt. She laughs loud – Spoilt. She works late – Spoilt. She cannot cook – Spoilt.
An “Indian woman” is not defined by who she is but rather by who she is supposed to be. Any deviation from the orthodox perception makes her a “Spoilt Modern Indian Woman”. But the question is: Why should she be defined?
Aiming to challenge such regressive and misogynistic mindsets prevalent in the everyday life, Spoilt Modern Indian Woman presents a sarcastic and humorous take on gender stereotypes. Founded by Sonam Mittal and Bruce Vain (pseudonym), the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman is taking over the internet by its witty posts with a feminist tint.
REBUTTAL TO MISOGYNY
Sonam and Bruce met at a workshop in May, 2015. They struck a chord as they got on to discussing the lack of safe space for women online. As Sonam talks about,
“If there is one comment that is against the popular view, it’ll be followed by comments that will attack the character of women instead of the argument. One thing which was very evident was that there was lack of safe space and a kind of a group where people can talk about feminism but at the same time they don’t have to be very uptight and serious, as feminists are very often portrayed as. We wanted to make a page that was a little bit funny and sarcastic and at the same time, absolutely upfront and extremely unapologetic about the view. That was the personality that we wanted to bring out.”
In 2015, Sonam was fighting a case of sexual harassment and rape against Greenpeace India, a well known NGO where she worked. When she decided to voice the injustice through a post at Youth Ki Awaaz, she was met with brazen scrutiny where another blogger posted blogs criticizing her actions and closing that she deserved what happened to her. He resorted to classic victim blaming by saying that “she asked for it” and that she was “vulnerable”, and titled the blog “Sonam Mittal as spoilt modern Indian woman”. When someone is going through a tough phase and at the same time is subjected to baseless criticism by people who know nothing of your struggles, it not only becomes upsetting but you start questioning the fairness of the way things work. But Sonam decided to face this issue head on. She and Bruce decided to title the page “Spoilt Modern Indian Woman” in an attempt to reclaim what was thrown as an insult.
“When women try to take up their rightful space in the society, they are often labelled as modern or spoilt, or what some politician describe as “par-kati” (women with short hair). Gender stereotypes are so deeply engrained that any deviation from those are often met with sharp criticism and an attack on the woman’s character.”
It was only later that Sonam received an apology from Greenpeace, but till then she knew what she had to do, so that no one else has to go through the same ordeal. The Spoilt Modern Indian Woman was loud and clear. She was not ready to bow down to the constraints of patriarchy. They started tackling misogyny one fine post at a time. Today the Spoilt Modern Indian Women has over 22000 active readers over Facebook.
SPOILT MODERN DESI WOMEN
In January 2016, the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman rolled out a meme campaign to call out the everyday sexism that the society holds dear. They crowd-sourced the memes featuring common women and their everyday lives. The text in the meme would be a sarcastic take on the acceptable and gender-defined role of women. The meme would start by a very conventional notion like, “Urgently looking for a suitable boy”, followed by an amusing twist, “to manage the office at my new startup”. As Sonam explains,
“When we try telling people something as simple as don’t judge a woman on the way she dresses, instead of explaining it in serious content, we chose to use to memes, in the hope of reaching out to a larger audience and making an impact. Instead of randomly putting up memes, we wanted to keep the real life spoilt modern Indian women- women who are absolutely unapologetic about being the way they are.”
For the campaign, several women sent out their pictures and a little bit about themselves to the page, where Sonam and Bruce converted them into memes closely similar to the personality of the women and what they did. Once the memes were approved by the owners, they went ahead and published them. The campaign became an internet sensation and was a tight slap at sexism and the very evident misogynistic notions and remarks that we come across every day.
SPOILT MODERN FILM REVIEWS
Over the years, several TV shows and movies have painted an idea of an ideal Indian woman. She’d be a devoted housewife, a model daughter in law and a sacrificing mother. Her life would be bound to the four walls of the house and her ambitions would be tied to the kitchen. Is that an ideal Indian woman?
Sonam talks about how the pop-culture reaches out to a large audience and plays a very vital role in creating impact.
“There was a daily soap where the wife is shown as an ignorant village girl who washes her husband’s laptop to show that she loves him There was another show where the main lead is a divorcee who is career oriented and who smokes, but then again there was a negative streak to it. That itself got me thinking as to why that is good and this is bad. It’s maddening to see that its 2016 and women are still being portrayed like this. These kind of narratives do matter. So the question was: how do we challenge something so engrained?”
The answer was humour. The page hordes several sarcastic and funny posts that challenge the deep-seated misogyny and answers sexists joke with feminist humour. They have also started “Spoilt Modern Film Reviews” where they highlight the pain points from the feministic point of view. The reviews not only throw light on what’s wrong but bring focus on the ones that break the conventions.
SPOILT MODERN SATURDAYS
Just when the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman had put up a post against Nando’s restaurant sexist print ad, Sonam had an interesting rendezvous. When a reader of the page met Sonam, she could not contain her amazement.
“Over the course of conversation, she realized that I am the co-founder of the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman and she started screaming, startling everyone around her. She told me that she’s a huge fan of the page and that she frequently comments, and it was then that I realized that I had read her comments and that she was the same person. She was genuinely happy and that was something I had never expected in my life.”
After spending the entire evening with the fan of the page, discussing random topics, Sonam came to a conclusion that this was something that they should often do. And so they came up with the Spoilt Modern Saturdays: a safe space for likeminded people to meet and discuss concerns and at the same time have fun, rant and discuss anything and everything.
The Spoilt Modern Indian Woman posted the first official invite just two days prior to the first event, and were surprised to receive an overwhelming response. The success of the Spoilt Modern Saturday clearly showed how The Spoilt Indian Woman was making a difference.
MAKE IT SAFER
Joining hands with Breakthrough India, a non-profit organization, the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman launched the #MakeItSafer programme where they conducted several activities and drives to spreading awareness to make the journey to school safer for young girls. They helped raise funds through Bitgiving by spreading the message across through meme campaigns and video messages. As Bruce told Hersaga,
“The projects aims are spreading awareness for school girls: how they face sexual harassment in school, on their way to school and around school premises. And how a lot of them are likely to drop out of school because of this harassment. In fact, 33% of all school going girls face sexual harassment. So we wanted to cause awareness and sensitize the other people like the gatekeepers and the community around them, so that going to school becomes a safer experience for young girls.”
BEING BLATANTLY HONEST
Feminism is not a boardroom debate. Feminists can joke, and feminists can rebut a joke too. The page has received a varied response from the audience. Sonam talks about how several women have shown their trust in the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman by coming forward and sharing their experience about sexism and harassment. On the other hand, they have also received negative feedback and were called “offensive”. But like they say, “Haters gonna hate. I’m just gonna shake it off”.
May it be a troll over the internet or a cat call on the road, sexism is laced to our everyday lives. It’s not okay to laugh it off, because these little irks are piling up into a bigger issue. It is not okay to make a rape joke or body shame someone who is not your definition of ideal. It is time to challenge them and the Spoilt Modern Indian Woman is doing just that. And honestly, they are slaying it.
To sign off in Sonam’s words, “Ladies, Be Spoilt.”
Facebook Page: The Spoilt Modern Indian Woman
Website: http://www.spoiltmodernwoman.com/
